“Outer layer of skin” – recap pt. 2

“So that’s how we live our lives. No matter how deep and fatal the loss, no matter how important the thing that’s stolen from us – that’s snatched right out of our hands – even if we are left completely changed people with only the outer layer of skin from before, we continue to play out our lives this way, in silence.”
H. Murakami, Sputnik Sweetheart

Another part of my recap. I’ll hopefully get to write more later but I’ll be off to Munich for this at 16:30:

We still have two free seats in the car so if anyone feels like coming with us – don’t be shy, drop me a message! It’s cheap and Kafe Kult is an excellent place to waste your time, believe me. There’s more info here.

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I dreamed tonight, which is rare. I had watched a documentary about science fiction b-movies in the 50s and 60s which I find rather fascinating. For example the original ‘Invasion Of The Body Snatchers’ from 1956 is such a creepy tale about the fear of conformity and concerns about technology. Well, imagery from that documentary kept coming up in my dream in which 5-10 people fled in a bus into a moon-landscape desert cause it was the only place in which they wouldn’t become changed/killed/etc like all the other humans. The story mingled with a Pet Sematary motif: an old man on the bus had lost his son but sat there smiling as in the desert suddenly they found him again and he slowly kept coming back to life. Ah, while I’m writing this I remember this recovery part coming from the Star Trek ‘Search for Spock’ movie that was on tv last night. Just that the son who came back to life in my dream had the weirdness of the undead cat and kid in Pet Sematary on him.
It was a dream that was like a self-built vehicle made up of bits and pieces of other cars and bikes and whatever but no one who steers it. Actually that’s also how I feel about life. I might be the one who picks up bits and pieces and stick and fit them in and try to repair what’s necessary but I don’t feel like I’m driving. I’m just keeping it in motion and can chose how it moves or how it looks like but not where it will move.
Ha! Wisdom for breakfast.

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Last night was the first time in a while that I cried about the loss of my Mom. I sometimes get a feeling that it’s wrong that life just goes on and I’m not thinking more about her. I’ve finally packed all her clothes up to give them to asylum seekers and a woman shelter. It was a strange feeling but not as hard as you would imagine it to be. Or it’s just cause I’m so good in suppressing. I don’t allow the memories of when I found her come back to my mind. No way. Last night it was the simple fact of her not being there anymore hit me like out of nowhere. Like understanding that she’s gone. Forever. Most of the time I just feel as if she’s away on a long trip. Giving away her stuff makes me feel a bit like kicking her out of the house. I’m not sure if that’s good or bad, and I don’t care if it’s either, I just know it makes me sad.

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Back to London. I only slept for a couple of minutes cause then the ‘food’ was served. The flight was smooth, there were just some little air turbulence before we landed and the landing itself was cool: London City Airport isn’t very big so you come down very abrupt and the braking distance also is rather short. Loved it. At the airport I got my luggage pretty fast and went to the Docklands Light Railway. It took a little help to figure what ticket to buy and even then I didn’t get an oyster card which makes public transport a lot cheaper. I’ve also found the journey planner Julie showed me helpful. The tube passageways at Bank Station seemed endless. I had forgotten how moist and hot the air down there is in London, I think it was the same in Paris. I was glad when I switched to a bus to get to Julie’s place. Of course I didn’t get off at the right station so I had to walk a bit longer. I was too exhausted to be excited and wonder about the weirdness of meeting someone you only know from the internet and I have to say it didn’t feel strange at all when she opened the door and we met. It was a warm welcome and I did my best to understand everything she said as she talked a lot and pretty fast. She’s a club scene drag artist with the name Holestar. She’s also a student of arts interested in working about the ever quicker rise and fall of celebrities in today media trash landscape. Well, a cup of tea and a couple of cigarettes later Julie headed for work and I felt every tired bone in my body from only having slept 3 hours. I curled up on the sofa and slept until Don txted about what I was up to later that night. Result was: I took a nice half an hour walk through Hackney (the Gostenhof of London, if I my say so) to Brick Lane, 93 Feet East where Don and Josh, Pirate Soundsystem, djed at that night. Another two people I’ve known from the internet since years (I even had put remixes by both of them on my ‘Gestures Of Indifference album) but whom I had never met in the physical world. My first impression of London nightlife was: lots of people standing on the street to smoke. Don said that the smoking ban indeed does effect London club nights and there are less people on parties. As much as I enjoy the communicative effect this streetsmoking thing has you’ll definitely find me thinking about alternative ideas of setting up parties if it starts taking the fun out of our Sophisticated Boom Boom night. Grrr!

“I’m leaving on a jet plane” – recap pt. 1

Finally, a little recap. I didn’t plane crash by the way. All my LOST sensitisation puffed out into naught.

London was nice although the fresh tattoos were a bit of a handicap to be honest. I’m not the most careful person if it comes to my body. Especially when I get drunk. By now they are itching awfully and you better not bother telling me that’s good cause it means they’re healing. I knooow but it drives me mad anyway. I’ve done almost everything the tattoo care list said to avoid: Of course when I first washed the tattoos, thinking it might be more sterile than a towel, I first used a paper hankie to dry them and its fluff got stuck to the tattoos. Hope I washed it all off properly. It said ‘no sweating’ and although I didn’t do sports and saunas the shows and parties I’ve been to came close enough to that. The constant putting on and off of my jacket (damn that smoking ban!) sure wasn’t too good either as more unhygienic fluff got stuck to the tattoos. So it’s no big surprise that parts got sore and I hope they will heal properly so I don’t have to have them re-tattooed.

On Thursday we had TRAIL OF DEAD playing at the K4 and they were really nice guys, also their tour manager. She was super happy about the bicycles we lent them. It was very nice of THE AUDIENCE to play support although – thanks to the agency – we only were able to confirm the show two days before. The plastic cups sucked. The band or the tour manager insisted on those. They slowed down the whole bar thing immensely and the Festsaal bar is too short to have more than five people working there. The staff really worked their asses off but people nonetheless had to wait a while. (Don’t worry: It was a one time only thing.) After having done my part I spent a lot of time outside smoking and talking. I was a bit excited because of the flight and all and was glad that I managed to get home so early that I was able to catch at least three hours of sleep. My biggest fear was to miss the plane as I’m a notorious long sleeper and always late for dates. I surprised myself by getting up in time and packing the final things quite quickly and when i made it to the airport in time I wasn’t worried about anything anymore. Or maybe I only was too tired to worry. I checked in and took a seat outside the boarding zone as I first wanted to finish my drink and you’re no longer allowed to carry plastic bottles with you when you fly. After yawning steadily until I infected all the people that sat nearby and reading the first chapter of Murakami’s ‘Sputnik Sweetheart’ I decided to move on. I was a bit disappointed that my piercing didn’t make the detector thing peep and went shopping menthol cigarettes for Julie at whose place I was to stay in London. Then I waited again. I really don’t know why they insisted on checking in two hours before the flight. I was so tired I couldn’t read anymore, I just watched the planes being dragged to their positions with my eyes getting smaller and smaller until I finally was allowed to board a bus and then a plane. A small plane. Everything on that weekend seemed smaller than I had expected it to be. Jammed into my seat, being hardly able to close the seatbelt – yes, I know I’m not exactly the slimmest person but comfortable is spelt differently anyhow – but happy to fly away. I love this feeling of lightness I get whenever I leave town. I’m one of those people who can forget about any stress and problems as soon as they cross the city boundary. I hadn’t flown in a while and despite my tranquility it was mildly exciting when the huge propellers outside my window started to turn faster and faster and louder and louder. It’s a cool feeling when the plane leaves the ground and you are the billionth person to find it strange that such a heavy thing as a plane can fly at all. After a while of not recognising anything in the landscape below I innerly went ‘aaah!’ when I saw the first fluffy white clouds outside my window. The move into the white cuddliness outside was the perfect moment to fall asleep and so I did.

More later. I have to eat and leave. I really write too slow. Sorry.

I’m saving the unicorns!

It’s done! I’m happy. And there were only some parts that really hurt, the rest was not so bad. It’s wrapped in foil till tomorrow but here are pictures anywaaay:

On the last picture you can clearly see that now I have a problem: The blue of my brandnew nail polish doesn’t fit the unicorn’s shade of blue at all. Damn.

“Unicorns, aren’t they extinct in the modern world?” – RIP, new mash up and more

Jim: What kind of thing is this one supposed to be?
Laura: Haven’t you noticed the single horn on its forhead?
Jim: A unicorn, huh?
Laura: Mmmm-hmmm
Jim: Unicorns, aren’t they extinct in the modern world?
Laura: I know!
Jim: Poor little fellow, he must feel sorta lonesome.
Tennessee Williams, ‘The Glass Menagerie’

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RIP
INGMAR BERGMAN
LEE HAZELWOOD
TONY WILSON
Three truly outstanding people in culture. So sad.

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Here‘s a link to a blog entry about the SHOKKABOY remix of my ‘Last Aspirin’ song.

Oh, and thanks for turning up at our spontaneous IT’S THE BEAT PARTY and making it such a nice night – it was awesome that it got so crowded and dancy and all. I even survived the non-smoking thing and I liked the street party atmosphere.

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I’ve made another mash up, “Money Generation”, in the best tradition of what mash ups are about: Throwaway fun. You can download it from this site. It’s THE WHO’s “My Generation” with cut up bits of GRANDMASTER FLASH’s “The Message” and BONES THUGS N HARMONY’s “Money Money” rapping over it.

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In other news there’s quite a few things that make my pulse go a bit faster these days:
– My tattoo date today.
– Having to discuss why I don’t want to put up shows for a band like this.
Although there’s also a good thing coming from that discussion: I’m totally sparked for setting up another Ladyfest or even better: a Queerfest.
– TRAIL OF DEAD coming to play at K4 on Thursday. It will sure be fun but a lot of work for all of us as it’s one of those nightliner tours which means the band arrives in the morning and we have to look after them from breakfast till they go back to their mobile beds. Shows like that are really big for the musikverein but as most of us lend a hand I hope it won’t be too stressful for any single person. It also is the first bigger event we have since smoking has been prohibited at K4 and I hope there won’t be problems with that.
– On Friday morning I’ll be off to London. It will be my first flight in ages. Well, at least I’ve managed to get a new passport by now as my old one expired in January. Since then I’ve been an ‘Ordnungswidrigkeit’ and I have to pay a silly fine for that. Tsk.

I’m off now to get that tattoo now and if I will survive the doubtlessly unimaginabley horrid and unbearable pain I will post a picture later. Oh my. Do you know that feeling when you arrange yourself into situations that, the closer they get, seem more of a totally stupid idea… ? Why exactly was it that I didn’t want to start with just one small new tattoo?
Aaarrrghs….

“It’s the beat” – Party tomorrow, new mash up & a remix

“It’s the beat.”
SMD

Just a short blog as I already should be leaving for the DESI’s queer Plüsch und Plunder party tonight.

Melting Pop was awesome. Thanks to everybody who helped making it such a cool event – djs, bar people, guests, dancers etc.! If you took photos please share them with us!

Yesterday we decided to put up a spontaneous party at the K4 Zentralcafé tomorrow, Saturday! It would be cool if you spread the word and come to dance!

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Shokkaboy (the artist formerly known as Fujikato) has made a remix of an Eve Massacre tune, “The Last Aspirin”. You can listen to it in the player on his myspace site.
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I have made another mash up: “Teenage Bad Boys” which you can download from this little site.

Hope you like it. I do.