I have cancelled my reading on Jurgenson in Leipzig for testcard next week. The announcement names both testcard guys who read there but not me. I had asked the promoter about this more than a week ago, now he calls. I told him as we do this almost for free I at least demand the respect that it means to be properly announced. His excuse: He says he forgot it because he was so busy with christmas. Sorry, but not forgetting something like this is what I mean with respect.

Still it is me who feels a bit guilty now. Years of support & work for free that other people charge lots of money for have spoiled me. You make yourself smaller and smaller until you think criticising that you’re not being mentioned for your work is totally egomaniacal.

And actually I still even reject having to call this “work” to make it feel valuable.