“Sometimes I can’t remember why I want to live.
Then I think of all the freaks and I don’t want to miss this.”
Team Dresch

eve massacre – “blind fag (hate the xtian rights mix)” mp3

Congrats to your new president, dear US friends, but WTF is wrong with some of you voting hate to become engraved into your constitution? I’m no friend of any kind of marriage and I don’t want a child nor adopt one but still I find it not only sad but also scary to see you voted against civil rights for queer people. These things are not just about the act of marriage but about the rights that come with it. Just one simple example: if someone who lives in a gay relationship that has lasted 50 years has an accident and ends up in hospital in many states that see themselves as a ‘great civilised western society’ her or his partner has no right to talk to the doctors and visit them in intensive care areas. To you this might be a theoretical threat to your weird idea of culture but for others it means the real life infringement of what should be basic human rights.
Those pro-prop-8-etc. votings make me feel all cold inside and inspired that mix above that I’d like to dedicate to the lovely ladies of Team Dresch.

Actually this week I didn’t have to look overseas to get bad news. For example Germany’s government seems to be thinking about a ban on chocolate cigarettes. That almost tops the mirrorball ban in Nuremberg’s bars. What’s next? A ban on chocolate Santas cause those could turn kids into cannibals?

This week also held anoter bad surprise: A local d.i.y. punk venue with a pretty long tradition, the Kunstverein, and a techno club called Zoom that’s located in the same complex of buildings (the ‘Z-Bau‘) won’t get their contracts of tenancy extended. I haven’t been at the Kunstverein for a while because they don’t host the kind of bands I enjoy these days but more old school stuff but a few years ago even I put up two shows there, Soophie Nun Squad with Ghost Mice, and Fugazi. It’s a bit of a shock. I had heard that the city has taken over the Z-Bau but I can’t imagine that they already have new plans for it. To me it sounds more as if they just want to get rid of those people first and then waste years planning on what do next with the building while it rots in emptiness.

It’s scary to see how quick these things happen. It reminded me of how they got rid of the lively local concert scene at the Kluepfel and that the Hemdendienst still hasn’t found a new home. To say it loudly for the first time: I’m definitely scared that the city will try to kick our shows and parties out of the K4 too. They haven’t said so, on the contrary, they even arranged a meeting to let us talk about our future needs with one of the architects who re-plan the K4 but let’s face it: that means nothing. There’s a bunch of bureaucrats and politicians ruling this thing, so you should always remember that they know how to talk warm words. Warm words take the weapons out of your hands and tie you down cause you have no facts to get out to the public to back up your fears.

I can give you one example that will already heavily affect our bookings for 2009. In April or May 2008 we heard that the new administration of the K4 (KuKuQ) had already booked a large number of dates in 2009 at the Festsaal. We know that they do lots of ‘quiet’ events like theatre and knew that could affect our soundcheck times and thereby possibilities for shows not only in the Festsaal but also downstairs in the Zentralcafé. That’s why we worriedly wrote to the new administration and also tried to make clear how our booking works and that we don’t have the possibility to book half a year ahead. A rather hot dispute about the future handling of booking dates at the Zentralcafé and Festsaal of the K4 followed. Back then we already made it clear that we need to be very quick sometimes. If you get a call that you can do a last minute show for The Kills if you are able to confirm it within a day you don’t want to have to say no. The administration acted as if we were a bunch of hysteric kittens and calmed us down. They said we shouldn’t worry and that they knew all this and just need a little time to figure out a system that can deal with different booking needs for different folks. Back then they promised we would get dates confirmed as free or blocked within a few days. All in all they had a whole year to work on this. The result? Nada. Right now dealing with dates at the K4 is plain chaotic. I had a date that got confirmed back in September and two days ago I suddenly hear from the K4 administration that another show is booked on it. For some dates I had to wait five weeks or longer to be confirmed and they only got confirmed after I asked back a couple of times. It looks like it’s just a matter of time until their ‘system’ collapses. Just to think that a whole bunch of paid-for civil servants have been working on this for months makes me cringe. Actually it’s no big surprise, like I said: we already feared back in May that it would turn out like this. Still it sucks if you are all fired up and ready to go for next year’s shows and suddenly you have to wait weeks until you even can do the first step with a booking and have to spend hours asking back the same things again and again.

What’s even more stupid is that all that and lots of other minor issues stressed me up so big time that last week I kind of imploded, no, you could actually call it exploded (a more honest word would be ‘breakdown’) at one of our Musikverein meetings. I hate it when it comes to that. Sometimes I wonder if I will ever learn to break before my nerves go bumping into the nearest wall. I guess it’s the downside of being passionate about what you’re doing.

In two weeks all the free/independent groups of the K4 will meet to share our experiences with the new administration. I’m already curious about what stories all the others have to tell.

* _ *

I’d also like to call this day out as my personal dia de los muertes. From time to time people still drop condolations in my blog posting about Julian‘s suicide. It feels a bit strange because sometimes those are people who have known him better than me and I feel like they should have a nicer virtual memorial place. But it also feels good cause it keeps him alive in my thoughts.

The 4th of November was the day of the death of a closer friend of mine, Tine Plesch. Standing at the back of the room when Jersey were playing at the Zentralcafé it hit me once more how much I miss her. It would have been exactly the kind of show at which she would have stood at the bar sipping red wine, chatting, smoking her menthol cigs… somehow with her I still feel like she could walk into the room again any day. If I think of her I instantly get the way and tone in which she talked appear in my mind, and I recall her laughter as if it just rang in my ear a second ago. Yes, I miss her.
Sometimes when I think of her there also pops up a playful mental checklist of my postfeminist conscience. When did I last support and encourage another female? When did I last take a girl not serious? How many women have we booked at the Musikverein lately? Why have I still not checked out the Missy zine? It feels good that she still inspires the feminist in me cause I have yet to meet someone else who has the same fun and clever way of dealing with feminism without turning it into a mere ‘pop’ thing.
Well, I’ve just opened a bottle of wine and here’s to you, Queen of Crime!